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Plotting Against Derek

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Well, if it wasn't official before, it is now: there is a LiveJournal community for everything!

This is where uncut_diamond's "friends" go to co-plan revenge for his various transgressions. Here's an example of what we'll be doing here:

The Transgression - Derek fails to properly read information he's been given, and gets it all screwed up. He does not cause any actual harm to anyone.
The Plot - We decide that the best way to teach Derek to read instead of skim is to tie him to a chair and make him read a Physical Chemistry book until he can quote it and spell the more difficult words. If he fails in this endeavor, we will prod him with a shocking mechanism.

This is all in good fun. We all like Derek very much. However, most, if not all, plots will be enacted by me or a co-plotter!

The Rules: 1) Try not to embarrass Derek too badly. We're all friends here, and he's not a fan of public humiliation.
2) Friendslock posts, please? Forewarned is forearmed, and we don't want to give Derek any advantages. The first post remains unlocked, just so he'd know what goes on in here.
3) Be creative.
4) Have fun!

Right now, it's necessary to apply to the community. So I'm currently accepting applications. :)

Also, if you like plotting against uncut_diamond, you might also like plotting against the_epic. Try philplotting.